How Can We Recognise Domestic Violence?

Question by BARBARA BE: How can we recognise domestic violence?
ews – end of last year was the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against, Marches to highlight the problem; publicity to bring awareness, legal aid cuts put women in danger.

Facts from Refuge:
•One woman in four experiences domestic violence at some point in her life.
•Two women are killed each week by a current or former partner.
•Domestic violence accounts for almost a quarter of all violent crime.
•In 90% of domestic violence incidents in family households, children are in the same or next room.
•On average a woman will be assaulted by her partner or ex-partner 35 times before reporting it to the police.
News:
‘Legal aid cuts put women in danger
•On International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, we call on the justice secretary to protect women and children from violence by protecting their access to legal aid (Legal aid: Cuts will hurt the most vulnerable, says report, 11 November).’ The Guardian (24th Nov 11)

‘Experience: my father killed my mother
‘He stabbed her in the chest 16 times using two bread knives.’’
The Guardian (25th Nov 11)

‘Marchers highlight domestic abuse
NO MORE silence, no more violence — that was the message from more than 100 men and women who marched through the streets of Newport to Reclaim the Night and speak out against domestic abuse.’
Isle of Wight, County Press Online (1st Dec 11)
‘Suffolk domestic abuse victims in book project
Victims of domestic violence in Suffolk have written about their experiences for a book
highlighting the extent of the crime.’ BBC News Suffolk (24th Nov 11)
‘Pet cruelty ‘warning sign’ of domestic violence
Animal cruelty can be a “warning sign” of domestic abuse, Devon and Cornwall Police
have said.’ BBC News Devon (21st Nov 11)
Testimony Sonia Knight and Monica.
Parents left her in Ghana. Her aunty abused, didn’t feed her, hard life. When she came to England her parents were separated. Her mum left and came here for a better life. Her mum suffered from an abusive relationship.

Best answer:

Answer by c.herman
Domestic Violence has multiple red flags: •Extreme jealousy or possessiveness- Does your partner accuse you of improper behavior with others for no reason? Does your partner overreact when you spend time with others? Does your partner dislike or put down your friends or family for no apparent reason?
•Pushes for quick and intense Superiority- Does your partner always need to be right, get their way, have to win or be in charge?
•Denies Responsibility- (minimizes, denies or blames partner or others for emotions and behavior
•Easily upset or angered
•Poor Impulse Control- An abuser may exhibit patterns of chronic or sporadic alcohol or drug abuse, over spending or gambling, impulsive driving, early temper outbursts, inability to handle minor frustrations, destructive anger and/or police record
•Mood Swings – Mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred. Do you walk on eggshells, fearing that the slightest thing might set him off?
•History of violent behavior
•Emotional Abuse (name calling, criticizing, “joking” in a demeaning or embarrassing way)
•Intimidation -(uses threats, looks or gestures to scare partner; breaking objects)
•Isolation (uses jealousy to control what partner does, who he/she sees, where he/she goes, criticizes family or friends in an attempt to get partner to cease contact with family and friends)
•Inability to respect partner’s boundaries, privacy, need for separate activities or identity
•Violence or threats of violence- Has your partner ever shoved or hit you? Has your partner ever thrown things at you? Has your partner threatened to do any of these things?

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Signs of substance abuse –