“I Was Perusing the Interweb the Other Day in Search of New and Interesting Forms Of…?

Question by Hipster Stoner Jesus: The Resurrection: “I was perusing the interweb the other day in search of new and interesting forms of…?
“I was perusing the interweb the other day in search of new and interesting forms of pornography, and I came across something very interesting which juxtaposed against Aunt Momma’s missionary position on alcohol.”

“Oh she didn’t like alcohol…”

“No she did not! But this here fact kind of undermines that position. Which I… assume is a bad position. The key figure in her mythology, a mister… Jesus, apparently… used to turn water… into wine.”

“No shit!?!”

“Yes, and I have an idea. I’m lookin’ around the room here, I see a lot of people with Aquafina. I’m thinking if we find Jesus and get him down here, we can take that Aquafina, turn it into wine… take this punk-rock party up a notch. Whadya say?”

“I say: HEY JESUS!”

“Okay now Billy-Lee, this Jesus… he sounds awful talented.”

“Very!”

“Now do you think…you know how I make that spinach dip and I put it in the sour-bread bowl? Now do ya think he could take my spinach dip and turn it into something maybe a little bit more useful like… I don’t know… cocaine?!?”

“I beleive he can! See, I was cruising his wikipedia file and as it turns out: Mr. Jesus was a very talented fellow. He could not only clear up eczema, work on your acne, fix retards (“Wow”), and get this: Master of Watersports! So I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch. He could not only turn your awful spinach dip into cocaine… I think we could skip right over the wine. Let’s take that water… turn it into tequila.”
Sphinxy: Yes. ?

Best answer:

Answer by Been There, Done That
You won’t think it’s so funny when you finally meet Him!

Answer by ??h??xy-Hijinxs.
Are these song lyrics? lol.

What do you think? Answer below!

 

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Filed under: interesting facts on cocaine

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